Writing High-scoring Sentences

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Pengantar Pelajaran: Writing High-scoring Sentences
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In this lesson, you'll practice paraphrasing basic sentences into high-scoring sentences. We'll show you how to rewrite a single sentence in three different versions: beginner, intermediate, and advanced.

Beginner:
First food is now much more widely available than it was 40 years ago.

Intermediate:
In the past 50 years the availability of fast food has increased dramatically.

Advanced:
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the availability of fast food.

Lesson Introduction

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Bagian 1

Before we begin our lesson, let’s recap what you’ve learned.

So far, you’ve learned about how to connect ideas using transition words and how to use more advanced sentence patterns in your essay.

Do you remember what you learned from our first writing lesson?...We discussed the four criteria on which your essay is evaluated by ETS graders. These four criteria are

How well you address the topic.
How well you develop and support your ideas.
How well you organize the essay and connect your ideas.
How well you use the English language, including grammar, vocabulary, and writing conventions.

If you’ve watched all our lessons in our Independent writing lesson series, then you will have learned about the first 3 criteria, specifically:

Criteria 1: address the topic.

Writing a good thesis statement in the introductory paragraph and good topic sentences in body paragraphs is required to meet the first criteria “How well you address the topic”

Criteria 2: develop and support your ideas.

Writing good supporting sentences in body paragraphs is required to meet the second criterion “How well you develop and support your ideas.”.

Criteria 3: organize the essay and connect your ideas.

Using transition words, conjunctions, and prepositional phrases throughout your essay is required to meet the third criterion “How well you organize the essay and connect your ideas.”

In today’s lesson, you will learn how to score high in the fourth criteria: “How well you use the English language”.

To pass this criteria, the minimum requirement is to write grammatically error-free English. This includes accurate use of punctuation, correct spelling, and correct use of sentence structures.

Please note: Our grammar lessons and the writing lesson “how to achieve sentence variety sentences” will also help you with this.

We will look at examples of high-scoring sentences in this lesson.

Now...if you’re looking to get a high score on this criteria, then simply writing correct English will not impress the ETS graders. You’ll need to use more advanced vocabulary and phrases along with variations of sentence structures.

OK! Now that you understand what the graders are looking for, let’s look at three different levels of English writing beginner, intermediate, and advanced. We’ll be looking at how each level is more impressive than the previous level simply by how it uses the English Language.

Before we begin, please note that paraphrasing is extremely important and that the intermediate and advanced level writing examples coming up paraphrase the beginner level writing to be more impressive. Let’s look at 3 strategies on how we can paraphrase one sentence into a more advanced version.

Change the form of a word. For example, changing the verb to a noun. This process also requires a change in the sentence structure.
Use synonyms. A synonym is a different word or phrase that means the same thing as the original word.
Use more advanced adjectives or adverbs such as highly.

Okay!...Now, Let’s look at some examples. Please read each sentence carefully and see how each version is more advanced than the previous one.

Let's look at example sentence 1

Beginner	Fast food is now much more widely available than it was 50 years ago.
Intermediate	In the past 50 years the availability of fast food has increased tremendously.
Advanced	The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the availability of fast food.

Could you see the difference?

Here we changed the word from “available” to “availability”. This is using the first strategy “Changing the form of a verb”. We also use “tremendously” and “dramatic” to express the meaning of “much”. This is the second strategy “Using synonyms”

Okay! Let’s look at another example.

Let's look at example sentence 2

Beginner	As everyone knows, eating too much fast food is unhealthy.
Intermediate	It is a well-known fact that excessive eating of fast food causes health problems and diseases.
Advanced	It is an undeniable fact that excessively eating fast food results in long-term health problems and chronic diseases.

As you can see here, we use the phrase “It is a well-known fact” and “It is an undeniable fact” instead of “As everyone knows”. And here, we use "results in” instead of “causes”. And as you can see here, we added “long-term” and “chronic” to show more advanced command of vocabulary.

Finally, here we use the adjective "excessive" and the advanced adjective “excessively” instead of “too much”.

A BestMyTest Quick Tip

We used “It is a well-known fact” and “It is an undeniable fact”, but we can also use the equivalent phrases:

It is a proven fact
It is an irrefutable fact

Let’s continue on to our next example.

Let's look at example sentence 3

Beginner	Problems like alcoholism and drug abuse are certainly not impossible to overcome, but I believe that these problems will probably continue for many years to come.
Intermediate	Problems like alcoholism and drug abuse are certainly not insurmountable. However, it is unlikely that they will be solved in the near future.
Advanced	Problems like alcoholism and drug abuse are by no means insurmountable. However, it is highly unlikely that they will be resolved in the foreseeable future.

Okay! Can you tell which technique this writer is using? He uses multiple synonyms.

by no means = certainly not

is impossible to overcome = insurmountable

for many years to come = in the near future = in the foreseeable future

He also uses the third technique: using more advanced adjectives or adverbs. He uses “highly unlikely” to show a better command of English.

Okay! Now you should have an idea of how paraphrasing can improve your sentences to impress the ETS graders. Now, let’s look at a few more examples. Pay close attention to each sentence and see how each sentence conveys the same meaning with different words and phrases.

Let's look at example sentence 4

Beginner	Therefore, I think that there are a number of good reasons to ban smoking.
Intermediate	Thus, I believe it would be justifiable to ban smoking.
Advanced	Hence, I strongly believe that laws prohibiting smoking would be entirely justified.

Comments: Have a good reason of doing something = Be justifiable to do something = doing something is justified

Let's look at example sentence 5

Beginner	The fact is, smoking probably will not be banned for many years to come.
Intermediate	In reality, smoking is unlikely to be prohibited in the near future.
Advanced	In reality, the widespread prohibition of smoking is unlikely in the foreseeable future.

Comments:

Probably will not be = is unlikely to

in the near future = for many years to come = in the foreseeable future

Ban = prohibit

Let's look at example sentence 6

Beginner	The falling quality in education is a very important matter in the world today
Intermediate	The declining quality in education is an issue of great importance in the world today
Advanced	The issue of declining education standards is of great importance in the world today

Comments:

falling quality in education = declining quality in education = declining education standards

important matter = issue

be very important = be of great importance

Let's look at example sentence 7

Beginner	Food like fried chicken, hamburgers, and chips contain a large amount of fat and salt. They cause illnesses like high blood pressure, weight problems, and heart disease.
Intermediate	Food like fried chicken, hamburgers, and chips are high in fat and salt. These foods are responsible for illnesses like high blood pressure, weight problems, and heart disease.
Advanced	Food like fried chicken, hamburgers, and chips are incredibly high in fat and salt. These foods are responsible for ailments like high blood pressure, weight problems, and heart disease.

Comments:

illness = ailment

Large amounts of = are high in

Let's look at example sentence 8

Beginner	One thing I think is very important is that tobacco is a drug.
Intermediate	One thing which I believe to be vitally important is the fact that tobacco is a drug.
Advanced	One fact I believe to be vitally important, is that tobacco is a drug.

Comments:

is very important = is vitally important

One thing I think is...the fact = one thing which I believe to be...the fact = one fact I believe to be

Let's look at example sentence 9

Beginner	Many people believe that the quality of education is falling.
Intermediate	Many people hold the perception that education standards are declining.
Advanced	There is a widely held perception in many parts of the word today that education standards are in decline.

You've completed the lesson: Writing High-scoring Sentences

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Lesson Introduction

Bagian 1

Daftar Gratis

Paket Ulasan

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