Beginner:
First food is now much more widely available than it was 40 years ago.
Intermediate:
In the past 50 years the availability of fast food has increased dramatically.
Advanced:
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the availability of fast food.
Lesson Introduction
장절 1
Writing High-scoring Sentences
OK! Now that you understand what the graders are looking for, let's look at three different levels of English writing beginner, intermediate, and advanced. We'll be looking at how each level is more impressive than the previous level simply by how it uses the English Language.
Before we begin, please note that paraphrasing is extremely important and that the intermediate and advanced level writing examples coming up paraphrase the beginner level writing to be more impressive. If you're unfamiliar with paraphrasing, then please watch our dedicated video lesson on paraphrasing, but for now, let's look at 3 strategies on how we can paraphrase one sentence into a more advanced version.
- Change the form of a word. For example, changing the verb to a noun. This process also requires a change in the sentence structure.
- Use synonyms. A synonym is a different word or phrase that means the same thing as the original word.
- Use more advanced adjectives or adverbs such as highly.
Okay!...Now, Let's look at some examples. Please read each sentence carefully and see how each version is more advanced than the previous one.
|
Beginner |
Fast food is now much more widely available than it was 50 years ago. |
|
Intermediate |
In the past 50 years the availability of fast food has increased tremendously. |
|
Advanced |
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the availability of fast food. |
Could you see the difference?
Here we changed the word from "available" to "availability". This is using the first strategy "Changing the form of a verb". We also use "tremendously" and "dramatic" to express the meaning of "much". This is the second strategy "Using synonyms"
Okay! Let's look at another example
|
Beginner |
As everyone knows, eating too much fast food is unhealthy. |
|
Intermediate |
It is a well-known fact that excessive eating of fast food causes health problems and diseases. |
|
Advanced |
It is an undeniable fact that excessively eating fast food results in long-term health problems and chronic diseases. |
As you can see here, we use the phrase "It is a well-known fact" and "It is an undeniable fact" instead of "As everyone knows". And here, we use "results in" instead of "causes". And as you can see here, we added "long-term" and "chronic" to show more advanced command of vocabulary.
Finally, here we use the adjective 'excessive' and the advanced adjective "excessively" instead of "too much".
A BestMyTest Quick Tip
We used "It is a well-known fact" and "It is an undeniable fact", but we can also use the equivalent phrases:
- It is a proven fact
- It is an irrefutable fact
Let's continue on to our next example.
|
Beginner |
Problems like alcoholism and drug abuse are certainly not impossible to overcome, but I believe that these problems will probably continue for many years to come. |
|
Intermediate |
Problems like alcoholism and drug abuse are certainly not insurmountable. However, it is unlikely that they will be solved in the near future. |
|
Advanced |
Problems like alcoholism and drug abuse are by no means insurmountable. However, it is highly unlikely that they will be resolved in the foreseeable future. |
Okay! Can you tell which technique this writer is using? He uses multiple synonyms.
by no means = certainly not
is impossible to overcome = insurmountable
for many years to come = in the near future = in the foreseeable future
He also uses the third technique: using more advanced adjectives or adverbs. He uses “highly unlikely” to show a better command of English.
Okay! Now you should have an idea of how paraphrasing can improve your sentences to impress the IELTS graders. Now, let's look at a few more examples. Pay close attention to each sentence and see how each sentence conveys the same meaning with different words and phrases.
|
Beginner |
Therefore, I think that there are a number of good reasons to ban smoking. |
|
Intermediate |
Thus, I believe it would be justifiable to ban smoking. |
|
Advanced |
Hence, I strongly believe that laws prohibiting smoking would be entirely justified. |
Comments: Have a good reason of doing something = Be justifiable to do something = doing something is justified
|
Beginner |
The fact is, smoking probably will not be banned for many years to come. |
|
Intermediate |
In reality, smoking is unlikely to be prohibited in the near future. |
|
Advanced |
In reality, the widespread prohibition of smoking is unlikely in the foreseeable future. |
Comments:
Probably will not be = is unlikely to
in the near future = for many years to come = in the foreseeable future
Ban = prohibit
|
Beginner |
The falling quality in education is a very important matter in the world today |
|
Intermediate |
The declining quality in education is an issue of great importance in the world today |
|
Advanced |
The issue of declining education standards is of great importance in the world today |
Comments:
falling quality in education = declining quality in education = declining education standards
important matter = issue
be very important = be of great importance
|
Beginner |
Food like fried chicken, hamburgers, and chips contain a large amount of fat and salt. They cause illnesses like high blood pressure, weight problems, and heart disease. |
|
Intermediate |
Food like fried chicken, hamburgers, and chips are high in fat and salt. These foods are responsible for illnesses like high blood pressure, weight problems, and heart disease. |
|
Advanced |
Food like fried chicken, hamburgers, and chips are incredibly high in fat and salt. These foods are responsible for ailments like high blood pressure, weight problems, and heart disease. |
Comments:
illness = ailment
Large amounts of = are high in
|
Beginner |
One thing I think is very important is that tobacco is a drug. |
|
Intermediate |
One thing which I believe to be vitally important is the fact that tobacco is a drug. |
|
Advanced |
One fact I believe to be vitally important, is that tobacco is a drug. |
Comments:
is very important = is vitally important
One thing I think is...the fact = one thing which I believe to be...the fact = one fact I believe to be
|
Beginner |
Many people believe that the quality of education is falling. |
|
Intermediate |
Many people hold the perception that education standards are declining. |
|
Advanced |
There is a widely held perception in many parts of the word today that education standards are in decline. |
Okay! We hope you've enjoyed this lesson.
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