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TOEFL® Writing Practice 2

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schedule10:00

For this task, you will read an online discussion. A professor has posted a question about a topic, and some classmates have responded with their ideas.

Write a response that contributes to the discussion. You will have 10 minutes to write your response. It is important to use your own words in the response.

Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 100 words.

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Your professor is teaching a class on Ecology. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

In your response you should:
  • express and support your opinion
  • make a contribution to the discussion

An effective response will contain at least 100 words.


Prof. Martin

The balance between human needs and environmental preservation is a central topic in the contemporary world. As we expand our cities and industries, we must also consider the effects on our natural habitats. With that in mind, here is the question for the discussion board: Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?


Jason

Hey everyone! I have always believed in a balance. While we can't ignore the importance of farmland, housing, and industry for our survival and economic growth, we should not overlook our duty to protect endangered animals. By preserving their habitats, we are also preserving the balance in our ecosystem.


Kaya

Hey folks, I think that it's indeed crucial to maintain a balanced approach here. We do need to take care of our necessities like housing and farming, but at the same time, it's essential to remember that we share this planet with other species. We can't disregard their right to live for our convenience.

Word Count: 0

Your professor is teaching a class on Ecology. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

In your response you should:
  • express and support your opinion
  • make a contribution to the discussion

An effective response will contain at least 100 words.


Prof. Martin

The balance between human needs and environmental preservation is a central topic in the contemporary world. As we expand our cities and industries, we must also consider the effects on our natural habitats. With that in mind, here is the question for the discussion board: Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?


Kat

Hey everyone! I have always believed in a balance. While we can't ignore the importance of farmland, housing, and industry for our survival and economic growth, we should not overlook our duty to protect endangered animals. By preserving their habitats, we are also preserving the balance in our ecosystem.


Jason

Hey folks, I think that it's indeed crucial to maintain a balanced approach here. We do need to take care of our necessities like housing and farming, but at the same time, it's essential to remember that we share this planet with other species. We can't disregard their right to live for our convenience.



Word Count: 0



Score 5/5
I stand in disagreement with the notion that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry supersede the need to save land for endangered animals. It is crucial to acknowledge that humans and wildlife are both integral components of the ecosystem. They exist in a delicate balance where the survival of one is inextricably linked to the other. Overexploitation of land resources not only jeopardizes the survival of endangered species but also threatens the health of our planet. It can disrupt ecological balance, accelerating climate change and habitat destruction. Therefore, it is imperative that we strike a balance. While we must meet human needs for farmland, housing, and industry, we should also make concerted efforts to conserve our biodiversity and protect endangered animals. Our survival depends on our ability to coexist harmoniously with nature.


Feedback

The writing could be considered 5/5 because it presents a detailed and thoughtful argument about the balance between human needs and environmental conservation. It's well-structured, with clear reasoning and compelling examples supporting the stance. The language use is appropriate and effective in conveying the argument.

The essay effectively challenges the notion of prioritizing human needs over the conservation of land for endangered animals, emphasizing the interconnectedness of humans and wildlife within the ecosystem. The writer demonstrates a deep understanding of the potential consequences of overexploitation, such as disruption of ecological balance, climate change, and habitat destruction. The call for striking a balance between meeting human needs and conserving biodiversity reflects a thoughtful and responsible approach. Additionally, the essay receives positive feedback for its well-structured argument, clear reasoning, and compelling examples that support the stance.
Score 4/5
I don't agree with the idea that humans needs for farming, houses and industry is more important than saving land for endangered animals. It's important to say that humans and animals are both important parts of the ecosystem. They live in a balance where if one survives, the other also survives. If we use too much land resources, it doesn't just put endangered species at risk but also harms our planet. It can mess up the ecological balance, make climate change faster and destroy habitats. So, we need to find a balance. While we need to meet human needs for farming, houses, and industry, we should also try hard to save our biodiversity and protect endangered animals. We need to learn to live peacefully with nature because our survival depends on it.

Feedback

The writing could be considered 4/5 because while the content is appropriate and aligned with the question, there are minor issues with grammar, vocabulary, and coherence that detract from the overall quality of the response.

In terms of grammatical usage, there is a minor error in subject-verb agreement. In the first sentence, "humans needs" should be "human needs", since the subject "human" is singular in this context. This error slightly detracts from the overall clarity of the response.

Vocabulary usage is generally good, with words and phrases such as "ecological balance", "biodiversity", and "endangered animals" used appropriately. However, some words could be replaced with more specific or sophisticated terms to better express the idea. For example, "mess up" could be replaced with "disrupt", which is more formal and academic.

In terms of connection and coherence, the writer has done well to structure the response in a logical manner, first stating their disagreement, then explaining the importance of balance, and finally suggesting a solution. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, instead of simply saying "So, we need to find a balance.", the writer could use a more cohesive transition like "Therefore, it is crucial that we strike a balance between..." to better link the ideas.

Overall, the writer demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear and well-reasoned argument, but could benefit from minor improvements in grammar, vocabulary, and coherence.
Key Words Found in this practice
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SAMPLE TOEFL Writing Report

SAMPLE Score Summary
2.5 / 5
Task Fulfillment
Overall Organization
Relevance & Quality of Supporting Ideas
Grammatical Usage
Vocabulary Usage
Connections & Coherence
SAMPLE Grammar Corrections & Feedback
Correction Legend

Corrections in red
Academic language suggestion in blue

Detailed Feedback

Essay Grammar Corrections & Improvements
Several doubt about the accuracy of the memoir writting by the Chevalier de Seingalt are raised in the reading but the professor clarify the seeming contradictions in the Chevalier's accounts to defend the memoir.

The professor explain that the Chevalier rich in assets, but poor in the cash, while he lived in Switzerland and had to occasionally borrow funds while waiting for its assets to selling. Accordingly, to the professor, being low on cash fund is not same as being financially poors. However, in reading someone who borrowing large of amounts of money could not be wealth, therefore the Chevalier must have lied his wealthy life in Switzerland.

The skepticism regards the reliability of the recorded conversations with Voltaire is challenging by the professor as well. She explains that, due to habit of recording each conversation with Voltaire immediately afterward, the Chevalier was able to recall those discussions in detail even after several years had passing.

Finally, the professor refute the idea briber was how the Chevalier got out of prison. She point out that because even the other prisoners who had better resources were unable to successfully bribe their way out of prison it was very unlikely that bribery was how he escaped. Also, she notes the existences of government papers recording repair work done to the Chevalier's prison cell ceiling as strong evidence that his escaping from the prison was accurately recorded.
Several doubt doubts about the accuracy of the memoir writting written by the Chevalier de Seingalt are raised in the reading reading, but the professor clarify clarifies the seeming contradictions in the Chevalier's accounts to defend the memoir.

The professor explain explains that the Chevalier was rich in assets, but poor in the cash, while he lived in Switzerland and had to occasionally borrow funds while waiting for its his assets to selling. Accordingly, sell. According to the professor, being low on cash fund funds is not the same as being financially poors. poor. However, in reading the reading, someone who borrowing borrows large of amounts of money could not be wealth, wealthy, therefore the Chevalier must have lied about his wealthy life in Switzerland.

The skepticism regards regarding the reliability of the recorded conversations with Voltaire is challenging challenged by the professor as well. She explains that, due to the habit of recording each conversation with Voltaire immediately afterward, the Chevalier was able to recall those discussions in detail even after several years had passing. passed.

Finally, the professor refute refutes the idea briber that bribery was how the Chevalier got out of prison. She point points out that because even the other prisoners who had better resources were unable to successfully bribe their way out of prison prison, it was very unlikely that bribery was how he escaped. Also, she notes the existences existence of government papers recording repair work done to the Chevalier's prison cell ceiling as strong evidence that his escaping escape from the prison was accurately recorded.



Task Fulfillment


Relevance & Completeness of Information


Grammatical Usage


Vocabulary Usage


Connections & Coherence


Connection between Lecture & Reading


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doubt
Solution Explanation
doubts The correct form is 'doubts' because it is a plural noun in this context.

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writting
Solution Explanation
written The correct past participle of 'write' is 'written'.

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reading
Solution Explanation
reading, A comma is needed after 'reading' to separate the two independent clauses.

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clarify
Solution Explanation
clarifies The third person singular form of the verb 'clarify' is 'clarifies'.

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explain
Solution Explanation
explains The third person singular form of the verb 'explain' is 'explains'.

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was
Solution Explanation
was The verb 'was' is needed to indicate the past tense.

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the
Solution Explanation
The article 'the' is not needed before 'Chevalier'.

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its
Solution Explanation
his The correct possessive pronoun is 'his' as it refers to 'Chevalier'.

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selling. Accordingly,
Solution Explanation
sell. According The correct verb form is 'sell'. Also, 'According' should start a new sentence.

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fund
Solution Explanation
funds The correct noun is 'funds'.

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the
Solution Explanation
the The article 'the' is needed before 'Chevalier'.

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poors.
Solution Explanation
poor. The correct adjective is 'poor'.

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reading
Solution Explanation
the reading, The article 'the' is needed before 'reading' and a comma is needed after it.

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borrowing
Solution Explanation
borrows The correct verb form is 'borrows'.

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of
Solution Explanation
The preposition 'of' is not needed in this context.

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wealth,
Solution Explanation
wealthy, The correct adjective is 'wealthy'.

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about
Solution Explanation
about The preposition 'about' is needed before 'his wealthy life'.

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regards
Solution Explanation
regarding The correct preposition is 'regarding'.

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challenging
Solution Explanation
challenged The correct past participle of 'challenge' is 'challenged'.

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the
Solution Explanation
the The article 'the' is needed before 'professor'.

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passing.
Solution Explanation
passed. The correct past participle of 'pass' is 'passed'.

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refute
Solution Explanation
refutes The third person singular form of the verb 'refute' is 'refutes'.

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briber
Solution Explanation
that bribery The correct noun is 'bribery'.

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point
Solution Explanation
points The third person singular form of the verb 'point' is 'points'.

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prison
Solution Explanation
prison, A comma is needed after 'prison' to separate the two independent clauses.

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existences
Solution Explanation
existence The correct noun is 'existence'.

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escaping
Solution Explanation
escape The correct noun is 'escape'.

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accuracy
Solution Explanation
veracity The professor challenges the veracity of the memoir written by the Chevalier de Seingalt.

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written
Solution Explanation
penned The professor clarifies the seeming contradictions in the Chevalier's accounts to defend the memoir that he penned.

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clarifies
Solution Explanation
elucidates The professor elucidates the seeming contradictions in the Chevalier's accounts to defend the memoir.

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seeming
Solution Explanation
apparent The professor elucidates the apparent contradictions in the Chevalier's accounts to defend the memoir.

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explains
Solution Explanation
clarifies The professor clarifies that the Chevalier was rich in assets, but poor in cash, while he lived in Switzerland and had to occasionally borrow funds while waiting for his assets to sell.

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rich
Solution Explanation
wealthy The professor clarifies that the Chevalier was wealthy in assets, but poor in cash, while he lived in Switzerland and had to occasionally borrow funds while waiting for his assets to sell.

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poor in cash,
Solution Explanation
cash-poor, The professor clarifies that the Chevalier was wealthy in assets, but cash-poor, while he lived in Switzerland and had to occasionally borrow funds while waiting for his assets to sell.

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lived
Solution Explanation
resided The professor clarifies that the Chevalier resided in Switzerland while he had to occasionally borrow funds while waiting for his assets to sell.

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sell.
Solution Explanation
liquidate. The professor clarifies that the Chevalier had to occasionally borrow funds while waiting for his assets to liquidate.

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funds
Solution Explanation
The professor clarifies that the Chevalier had to occasionally borrow while waiting for his assets to liquidate.

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the same as
Solution Explanation
synonymous with The professor explains that being low on cash funds is not synonymous with being financially poor.

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amounts
Solution Explanation
sums In the reading, someone who borrows large sums of money could not be wealthy, therefore the Chevalier must have lied about his wealthy life in Switzerland.

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wealthy,
Solution Explanation
affluent, In the reading, someone who borrows large sums of money could not be affluent, therefore the Chevalier must have lied about his affluent life in Switzerland.

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lied about
Solution Explanation
misrepresented In the reading, someone who borrows large sums of money could not be affluent, therefore the Chevalier must have misrepresented his affluent life in Switzerland.

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challenged
Solution Explanation
contested The professor contests the skepticism regarding the reliability of the recorded conversations with Voltaire.

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habit
Solution Explanation
practice The professor explains that it was the Chevalier's practice to record each conversation with Voltaire immediately afterward.

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recording
Solution Explanation
documenting The professor explains that it was the Chevalier's practice to document each conversation with Voltaire immediately afterward.

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passed.
Solution Explanation
elapsed. The professor explains that even after several years had elapsed, the Chevalier was able to recall those discussions in detail.

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refutes
Solution Explanation
disputes The professor disputes the idea that bribery was how the Chevalier got out of prison.

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idea
Solution Explanation
notion The professor disputes the notion that bribery was how the Chevalier got out of prison.

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got out of
Solution Explanation
secured his release from The professor disputes the notion that bribery was how the Chevalier secured his release from prison.

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points out
Solution Explanation
highlights The professor highlights that even the other prisoners who had better resources were unable to successfully bribe their way out of prison.

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because
Solution Explanation
since The professor highlights that since even the other prisoners who had better resources were unable to successfully bribe their way out of prison, it was very unlikely that bribery was how the Chevalier escaped.

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who had better
Solution Explanation
with superior The professor highlights that even the other prisoners with superior resources were unable to successfully bribe their way out of prison.

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very
Solution Explanation
highly The professor highlights that even the other prisoners with superior resources were highly unlikely to successfully bribe their way out of prison.

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how he escaped. Also,
Solution Explanation
his method of escape. Additionally, The professor disputes the notion that bribery was how the Chevalier secured his release from prison. Additionally, she notes the existence of government papers recording repair work done to the Chevalier's prison cell ceiling as compelling evidence that his escape from the prison was accurately recorded.

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notes
Solution Explanation
cites The professor cites the existence of government papers recording repair work done to the Chevalier's prison cell ceiling as compelling evidence that his escape from the prison was accurately recorded.

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papers recording
Solution Explanation
documents noting The professor cites the existence of documents noting repair work done to the Chevalier's prison cell ceiling as compelling evidence that his escape from the prison was accurately recorded.

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strong
Solution Explanation
compelling The professor cites the existence of documents noting repair work done to the Chevalier's prison cell ceiling as compelling evidence that his escape from the prison was accurately recorded.

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recorded.
Solution Explanation
documented. The professor cites the existence of documents noting repair work done to the Chevalier's prison cell ceiling as compelling evidence that his escape from the prison was accurately documented.
SAMPLE Criteria Score Reports

Task Fulfillment   5/5

fully addresses the task/question and is fully developed

Task Fulfillment is about how well you respond to the question you are given. TOEFL raters are looking for...

How to Improve

To achieve a high score on the Task Fulfillment criterion, you need to write...

  • ...
  • ...
  • ...
  • ...
  • ...

Overall Organization   4/5

is fairly well-organized, though there may be minor lack of unity in paragraphs includes an introduction and conclusion

Overall organization is about how you organize the ideas in your essay. This includes showing that you understand how to...

How to Improve

We suggest you study the organization of good paragraphs and essays, and spend time planning and thinking about how to...

Relevance & Quality of Supporting Ideas   3/5

may include a few ideas that are of minor relevance to the task/question has some good supporting ideas but may require more to fully support the writer's position

Relevance and quality of support is about your essay content or ideas. Your content should be related directly to...

How to Improve

An often, overlooked, yet important skill in TOEFL writing is how fast you can...

Step 1

Let your mind...

If you struggle..., you can...

Step 2

Whilst...

  • Does my...
  • Can I...
  • ...

Grammatical Usage   2/5

contains several noticeable problems with form and usage that interfere with meaning includes some variety of grammatical forms but still contains unnecessary repetition relies primarily on simple sentence forms (simple and

Grammatical usage is about how you...

How to Improve

The best way to improve your grammar in writing is to have a...

Another way to improve your grammar is to...

  • ...
  • ...
  • ...

Vocabulary Usage   1/5

includes mistakes with basic word form includes limited vocabulary, with repetition and reliance on vocabulary from the question prompt often uses inappropriate or incorrect words or wording

Vocabulary usage is about how you use English words. Raters are looking for writing that...

How to Improve

To improve your vocabulary in the Academic Discussion Writing task, we recommend you study...

Connections & Coherence   0/5

does not address the question at all or simply repeats words from the question prompt.

Coherence and connections are about how you...

How to Improve

Complete the following lessons:

SAMPLE Essay Grammar Corrections & Improvements
Several doubt about the accuracy of the memoir writting by the Chevalier de Seingalt are raised in the reading but the professor clarify the seeming contradictions in the Chevalier's accounts to defend the memoir.

The professor explain that the Chevalier rich in assets, but poor in the cash, while he lived in Switzerland and had to occasionally borrow funds while waiting for its assets to selling. Accordingly, to the professor, being low on cash fund is not same as being financially poors. However, in reading someone who borrowing large of amounts of money could not be wealth, therefore the Chevalier must have lied his wealthy life in Switzerland.

The skepticism regards the reliability of the recorded conversations with Voltaire is challenging by the professor as well. She explains that, due to habit of recording each conversation with Voltaire immediately afterward, the Chevalier was able to recall those discussions in detail even after several years had passing.

Finally, the professor refute the idea briber was how the Chevalier got out of prison. She point out that because even the other prisoners who had better resources were unable to successfully bribe their way out of prison it was very unlikely that bribery was how he escaped. Also, she notes the existences of government papers recording repair work done to the Chevalier's prison cell ceiling as strong evidence that his escaping from the prison was accurately recorded.
Several doubt doubts about the accuracy of the memoir writting written by the Chevalier de Seingalt are raised in the reading reading, but the professor clarify clarifies the seeming contradictions in the Chevalier's accounts to defend the memoir.

The professor explain explains that the Chevalier was rich in assets, but poor in the cash, while he lived in Switzerland and had to occasionally borrow funds while waiting for its his assets to selling. Accordingly, sell. According to the professor, being low on cash fund funds is not the same as being financially poors. poor. However, in reading the reading, someone who borrowing borrows large of amounts of money could not be wealth, wealthy, therefore the Chevalier must have lied about his wealthy life in Switzerland.

The skepticism regards regarding the reliability of the recorded conversations with Voltaire is challenging challenged by the professor as well. She explains that, due to the habit of recording each conversation with Voltaire immediately afterward, the Chevalier was able to recall those discussions in detail even after several years had passing. passed.

Finally, the professor refute refutes the idea briber that bribery was how the Chevalier got out of prison. She point points out that because even the other prisoners who had better resources were unable to successfully bribe their way out of prison prison, it was very unlikely that bribery was how he escaped. Also, she notes the existences existence of government papers recording repair work done to the Chevalier's prison cell ceiling as strong evidence that his escaping escape from the prison was accurately recorded.



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doubt
Solution Explanation
doubts The plural form 'doubts' is needed here because there are multiple uncertainties being discussed.

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writting
Solution Explanation
written The correct past participle of 'write' is 'written'.

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reading
Solution Explanation
reading, A comma is needed after 'reading' to separate the two independent clauses.

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clarify
Solution Explanation
clarifies The third person singular form 'clarifies' is needed to agree with the singular subject 'professor'.

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explain
Solution Explanation
explains The third person singular form 'explains' is needed to agree with the singular subject 'professor'.

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was
Solution Explanation
was The verb 'was' is needed to form the past continuous tense.

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the
Solution Explanation
The article 'the' is not needed before 'assets'.

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its
Solution Explanation
his The possessive pronoun 'his' is needed to refer back to 'the Chevalier'.

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selling. Accordingly,
Solution Explanation
sell. According The verb 'sell' is needed here, and 'According' should start a new sentence.

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fund
Solution Explanation
funds The plural form 'funds' is needed here because it refers to money in general.

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the
Solution Explanation
the The article 'the' is needed before 'Chevalier'.

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poors.
Solution Explanation
poor. The correct adjective form is 'poor'.

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reading
Solution Explanation
the reading, The article 'the' is needed before 'reading', and a comma is needed to separate the two independent clauses.

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borrowing
Solution Explanation
borrows The present simple tense 'borrows' is needed to describe a general situation.

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of
Solution Explanation
The preposition 'of' is not needed here.

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wealth,
Solution Explanation
wealthy, The adjective 'wealthy' is needed to describe 'the Chevalier'.

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about
Solution Explanation
about The preposition 'about' is needed to introduce the topic of the sentence.

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regards
Solution Explanation
regarding The preposition 'regarding' is needed to introduce the topic of the sentence.

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challenging
Solution Explanation
challenged The past participle 'challenged' is needed to form the passive voice.

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the
Solution Explanation
the The article 'the' is needed before 'Chevalier'.

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passing.
Solution Explanation
passed. The past participle 'passed' is needed to form the past perfect tense.

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refute
Solution Explanation
refutes The third person singular form 'refutes' is needed to agree with the singular subject 'professor'.

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briber
Solution Explanation
that bribery The noun 'bribery' is needed to refer to the act of giving bribes.

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point
Solution Explanation
points The third person singular form 'points' is needed to agree with the singular subject 'she'.

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prison
Solution Explanation
prison, A comma is needed after 'prison' to separate the two independent clauses.

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existences
Solution Explanation
existence The singular form 'existence' is needed because it refers to one specific thing.

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escaping
Solution Explanation
escape The noun 'escape' is needed to refer to the act of escaping.
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