The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
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For example To elaborate, some of these are the lack of food, the need for more farming lands, or the desire for new productive production systems. The dearth of land constitute constitutes the main issue. Nowadays, the superstructure has become incredibly harmful for to natural habits and animals. It has destroyed several ecosystems which provided food and home homes for a large range of fauna.
Certainly Next, the need for expantion expansion it is an important reason to enlarge towns and cities. But, despite an initial advantage, it will be a serious problem in a few years. Actually, it already is. We have to think to of renewable way ways to build and work, using and use the space that we already have, instead of expand expanding and invade invading the natural enviroment environment. This would just harm endangered animals and plants that are the base for the natural ecosystem.
Burning Finally, burning wood or deforest deforesting it, it is not the solution. We have several examples we can consider. Probably the most striking case is the Amazonian Amazon rainforest. The uncontrolled Uncontrolled deforestation has provided several issues to the enviroment environment. First of all, the lack of oxygen, is due to the cut of tropical tree trees cut, which are the main productors producers of the gas. Not Moreover, this is not considering the loss of natural diversity that affect affects also our climate.
In conclusion, I strongly think that the lack of lands land must not be the reason to destroy our world. It certanly certainly won't will not be a loss for all the humankind not saving to save the endangered animals. Think to of our children who never will see a chita cheetah or a polare polar bear. A multitude of countries have recognized the problem, and they are moving to solutions that implied imply renewable and clear clean energy.
Task Achievement:
Although you have structured your essay well, upon reading your introduction I noticed you have not provided a good hook and thesis statement and you have not stated your opinion, that is whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
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SAMPLE Criteria Score Reports
Task Achievement 7/9
• presents a clear purpose, with the tone consistent and appropriate
• clearly presents and highlights key features/bullet points but could be more fully extended
Task achievement is about how well you present a clear overview of main trends, the main features, and comparisons where relevant. IELTS raters are looking for a response that answers these three aspects directly, with relevant ideas that are fully developed.
How to Improve
To achieve a high score on the Task Achievement criterion, you need to write...
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Grammatical Range and Accuracy 5/9
• attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
• may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
Grammatical Range and Accuracy is about how you use English grammar, sentence structure, and the basic conventions of writing. Raters want to see that you can use what you know correctly, and that you can use a wide variety of structures to express your ideas.
How to Improve
The best way to improve your grammar in writing is to have a...
Another way to improve your grammar is to...
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Lexical Resource (Vocabulary) 6/9
• attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
• makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary) is about how you use English words. Raters are looking for writing that uses different words correctly and accurately, and that uses a wide range of words that help readers understand.
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To improve your vocabulary in the Independent Writing task, we recommend you study...
Coherence & Cohesion 4/9
• uses some basic cohesive devices but these may be inaccurate or repetitive
• may not write in paragraphs or their use may be confusing
Coherence and connections are about how you put your ideas together and link different sentences to each other. Raters want to see sentences that flow smoothly from idea to idea without confusing the reader.
How to Improve
Complete the following lessons:
- Connecting ideas in your essay part 1
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Sample Grammar Correction
Probably one of the worst problem problems of this decade is the uncontrolled growth of the population. In a century, we have our population has passed to be one or two billions billion, to be more than seven billios billion of people. This has provided resulted in huge, harmful consequences.
For example To elaborate, some of these are the lack of food, the need for more farming lands, or the desire for new productive production systems. The dearth of land constitute constitutes the main issue. Nowadays, the superstructure has become incredibly harmful for to natural habits and animals. It has destroyed several ecosystems which provided food and home homes for a large range of fauna.
Certainly Next, the need for expantion expansion it is an important reason to enlarge towns and cities. But, despite an initial advantage, it will be a serious problem in a few years. Actually, it already is. We have to think to of renewable way ways to build and work, using and use the space that we already have, instead of expand expanding and invade invading the natural enviroment environment. This would just harm endangered animals and plants that are the base for the natural ecosystem.
Burning Finally, burning wood or deforest deforesting it, it is not the solution. We have several examples we can consider. Probably the most striking case is the Amazonian Amazon rainforest. The uncontrolled Uncontrolled deforestation has provided several issues to the enviroment environment. First of all, the lack of oxygen, is due to the cut of tropical tree trees cut, which are the main productors producers of the gas. Not Moreover, this is not considering the loss of natural diversity that affect affects also our climate.
In conclusion, I strongly think that the lack of lands land must not be the reason to destroy our world. It certanly certainly won't will not be a loss for all the humankind not saving to save the endangered animals. Think to of our children who never will see a chita cheetah or a polare polar bear. A multitude of countries have recognized the problem, and they are moving to solutions that implied imply renewable and clear clean energy.
Revision Exercise
The possible effects of obesity are range of health issues. Physical health, diseases, such type 2 diabites and high blood pressure, are known to be higher in overweight children than there peers. These put a child’s life in danger. These may further affect mental health growing up. When children is obese they are more likely to be bullied and ostrasisized by classmates because they look or behave differently. This has been known to cause low self-esteem and depression in many. Thus they shun friend in favor of time alone.
In conclusion, through poor diet choice and inactivity, obesity is a growing problem that can cause lasting damage to child’s mental and physical development. Addressing this problem while young, much can be done to aid a child in becoming a healthy functioning adult.