IELTS® Writing Practice 1

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The Writing Task 2 of the IELTS Academic/General test requires you to write an essay in response to a point of view, argument or problem. You will be presented with a topic and will be tested on your ability to respond by giving and justifying an opinion, discussing the topic, summarizing details, outlining problems, identifying possible solutions and supporting what you write with reasons, arguments and relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

  • - Write in a formal style
  • - Write at least 250 words

Write about the following topic:

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Word Count: 0
 
Question

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Your Essay

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Review

THIS IS NOT YOUR REVIEW!

It's an example of what you can expect from our writing reviews



Review Status: No review requested Status: (N/A)
Review Summary (Sample)
Final Score Band 6
Task Achievement/Response 7/9
Grammatical Range and Accuracy 6/9
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary) 5/9
Coherence & Cohesion 6/9
The below sample is what you can expect from each writing review.

Writing Review Sample:
Sample writing essay
How we review your writing essay Our IELTS certified instructors will review your writing essay based on the following criteria:
  1. Task Achievement
  2. Grammatical Range and Accuracy
  3. Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
  4. Coherence & Cohesion
You will receive a score, feedback, and a IELTS report on each writing criteria. The average score for all criteria will be converted to a band score out of 9.

Note:
1. If your overall score is an average of 5.25, your band score will be increased to 5.5.
2. If your overall score is an average of 5.75, your band score will be increased to 6.
3. If your overall score is an average of 5.1, your band score will go down to 5.
4. If your overall score is rounded up or down to the nearest 0.5 or whole score as shown above.

Band Task Achievement
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Lexical Resource (Vocabulary)
Coherence & Cohesion
9 • fully addresses all parts of the task
• presents a fully developed position in answer to the question with relevant, fully extended and well supported ideas
• uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’ • uses a wide range of vocabulary with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features; rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips • uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention
• skilfully manages paragraphing
8 • sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
• presents a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and supported ideas
• uses a wide range of structures
• the majority of sentences are error-free
• makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
• uses a wide range of vocabulary
• fluently and flexibly to convey precise meanings
• skilfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation
• produces rare errors in spelling
and/or word formation
• sequences information and ideas logically
• manages all aspects of cohesion well
• uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
7 • addresses all parts of the task
• presents a clear position throughout the response
• presents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
• uses a variety of complex structures
• produces frequent error-free sentences
• has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
• uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
• uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
• may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
• logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout
• uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be
some under-/over-use presents a clear central topic within
each paragraph
6 • addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others
• presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
• presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
• uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms
• makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce
communication
• uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
• attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
• makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they
do not impede communication
• arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression
• uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
• may not always use referencing clearly
or appropriately
ƒ uses paragraphing, but not always
logically
5 • addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places
• expresses a position but the development is not always clear and there may be no conclusions drawn
• presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detail
• uses only a limited range of structures
• attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
• may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
• uses a limited range of vocabulary, but this is minimally adequate for the task
• may make noticeable errors in spelling and/or word formation that may cause some difficulty for the reader
• presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack of
overall progression
• makes inadequate, inaccurate or over use of cohesive devices
• may be repetitive because of lack of referencing and substitution
• may not write in paragraphs, or paragraphing may be inadequate
4 • responds to the task only in a minimal way or the answer is tangential; the format may be inappropriate
• presents a position but this is unclear
• presents some main ideas but these are difficult to identify and may be repetitive, irrelevant or not well supported
• uses only a very limited range of structures with only rare use of subordinate clauses
• some structures are accurate but errors predominate, and punctuation is often faulty
• uses only basic vocabulary which may be used repetitively or which may be inappropriate for the task
• has limited control of word formation and/or spelling; errors may cause strain for the reader
• presents information and ideas but these are not arranged coherently and
there is no clear progression in the response
• uses some basic cohesive devices but these may be inaccurate or repetitive
• may not write in paragraphs or their
use may be confusing
3 • does not adequately address any part of the task
• does not express a clear position
• presents few ideas, which are largely undeveloped or
irrelevant
• attempts sentence forms but errors in grammar and punctuation predominate and distort the meaning • uses only a very limited range of words and expressions with very limited control of word formation and/or spelling
• errors may severely distort the
message
• does not organise ideas logically
• may use a very limited range of cohesive devices, and those used may
not indicate a logical relationship between ideas
2 • barely responds to the task
• does not express a position
• may attempt to present one or two ideas but there is no development
• cannot use sentence forms except in memorised phrases • uses an extremely limited range of vocabulary; essentially no control of word formation and/or spelling • has very little control of organisational
features
1 • answer is completely unrelated to the task • cannot use sentence forms at all
• can only use a few isolated words • fails to communicate any message
0 • does not attend
• does not attempt the task in any way
• writes a totally memorised response
• does not attend
• does not attempt the task in any way
• writes a totally memorised response
• does not attend
• does not attempt the task in any way
• writes a totally memorised response
• does not attend
• does not attempt the task in any way
• writes a totally memorised response
 
Model Essay
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Transition words are highlighted in red
Topic vocabulary are highlighted in blue

Obesity among children has risen sharply over the last decade in western countries.  Such a trend is largely the result of a tendency towards convenience in society, yet its effects may be detrimental to children’s long-term mental and physical health.

The prime causes of obesity are unhealthy eating habits and an inactive lifestyle.  In recent years, there has been a surge in the consumption of convenience foods among modern families.   Busy parents with no time to cook rely on prepared meals to feed their families.  Such foods have little to no nutritional value which contributes to obesity.  In addition, children these days spend inordinate amounts of time playing video games than playing outside with friends resulting in insufficient physical activity each day.  For example, studies show that children in France exercise on average around 20 minutes per day as compared to 75 minutes 30 years ago.  

The possible effects of obesity are a range of health issues.  Regarding physical health, diseases, such as type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure, are known to be higher in overweight children than their peers.  These put a child’s life in danger, and may further affect mental health growing up.  When children are obese, they are more likely to be bullied and ostracized by classmates because they look or behave differently.  This has been known to cause low self-esteem and depression in many, and thus shun friends in favor of time alone.

In conclusion, through poor diet choice and inactivity, obesity is a growing problem that can cause lasting damage to a child’s mental and physical development.   However, by addressing this problem while young, much can be done to aid a child in becoming a healthy functioning adult.

Revision Exercise
Each sentence in the report below contains one or two errors. Errors may be grammar or punctuation based. A list of the common errors used with answer is given at the end.

The possible effects of obesity are range of health issues.  Physical health, diseases, such type 2 diabites and high blood pressure, are known to be higher in overweight children than there peers.  These put a child’s life in danger. These may further affect mental health growing up. When children is obese they are more likely to be bullied and ostrasisized by classmates because they look or behave differently.  This has been known to cause low self-esteem and depression in many. Thus they shun friend in favor of time alone.

In conclusion, through poor diet choice and inactivity, obesity is a growing problem that can cause lasting damage to child’s mental and physical development.   Addressing this problem while young, much can be done to aid a child in becoming a healthy functioning adult.

Show answer keyboard_arrow_down
 
Step 1: Planning
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Type: Cause and Effect

  1. What is the topic of the question?
  2. How many questions are there?
  3. How many sides do you need to consider?  

The question is about the number of overweight children increasing in the western world.

There is only one question, but both the causes and effects need to be discussed.

Plan:

  1. Analyse the question.
  2. Brainstorm a number of main points that you wish to talk about
  3. Choose which points you wish to use and think of two supporting details for each
  4. Decide on the order of your main points before writing.

Thesis

Convenience trend , long term physical, mental effects

Causes

Rise in consumption of convenience foods

  • Busy parents, no time to cook
  • Little to no nutritional value, causes obesity

Lack of exercise

  • rather play video games
  • longer hours in front of video screen
  • insufficient activity every day
  • Example – children exercise in France

Effects

Physical health issues

  • Modern diseases (diabetes, high blood pressure)
  • Life in danger, mental health issues

Mental health issues

  • Obesity causes bullying
  • More susceptible to low self-esteem, depression

Plan Practice:

Look at the main points above and write down the supporting details for each one.

Step 2: Write the essay
Transition words are highlighted in red
Topic vocabulary are highlighted in blue

Obesity among children has risen sharply over the last decade in western countries.  Such a trend is largely the result of a tendency towards convenience in society, yet its effects may be detrimental to children’s long-term mental and physical health.

The prime causes of obesity are unhealthy eating habits and an inactive lifestyle.  In recent years, there has been a surge in the consumption of convenience foods among modern families.   Busy parents with no time to cook rely on prepared meals to feed their families.  Such foods have little to no nutritional value which contributes to obesity.  In addition, children these days spend inordinate amounts of time playing video games than playing outside with friends resulting in insufficient physical activity each day.  For example, studies show that children in France exercise on average around 20 minutes per day as compared to 75 minutes 30 years ago.  

The possible effects of obesity are a range of health issues.  Regarding physical health, diseases, such as type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure, are known to be higher in overweight children than their peers.  These put a child’s life in danger, and may further affect mental health growing up.  When children are obese, they are more likely to be bullied and ostracized by classmates because they look or behave differently.  This has been known to cause low self-esteem and depression in many, and thus shun friends in favor of time alone.

In conclusion, through poor diet choice and inactivity, obesity is a growing problem that can cause lasting damage to a child’s mental and physical development.   However, by addressing this problem while young, much can be done to aid a child in becoming a healthy functioning adult.

 
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