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TOEFL® Writing Practice 85

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For this task, you will write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state, explain, and support your opinion on an issue. You'll have 30 minutes to write your essay.

Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 350 words.

We recommend you practice organizing your essay for the first 5 minutes with a pen and paper like you will during your TOEFL exam.

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Question: Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be.....locked

Word Count: 0
Question: Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be.....locked

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Key Words Found in this practice

Get your essay scored with grammar corrections and a detailed score report.
Take a closer look at the sample writing review below.

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SAMPLE TOEFL Writing Report

SAMPLE Score Summary
2.5 / 5
Task Fulfillment
Overall Organization
Relevance & Quality of Supporting Ideas
Grammatical Usage
Vocabulary Usage
Connections & Coherence
SAMPLE Grammar Corrections & Feedback
Correction Legend

Corrections in red
Academic language suggestion in blue

Detailed Feedback

Probably one of the worst problem problems of this decade is the uncontrolled growth of the population. In a century, we have our population has passed to be one or two billions billion, to be more than seven billios billion of people. This has provided resulted in huge, harmful consequences.

For example To elaboratesome of these are the lack of food, the need for more farming lands, or the desire for new productive production systems. The dearth of land constitute constitutes the main issue. Nowadays, the superstructure has become incredibly harmful for to natural habits and animals. It has destroyed several ecosystems which provided food and home homes for a large range of fauna.

Certainly Next, the need for expantion expansion it is an important reason to enlarge towns and cities. But, despite an initial advantage, it will be a serious problem in a few years. Actually, it already is. We have to think to of renewable way ways to build and work, using and use the space that we already have, instead of expand expanding and invade invading the natural enviroment environment. This would just harm endangered animals and plants that are the base for the natural ecosystem.

Burning Finally, burning wood or deforest deforesting it, it is not the solution. We have several examples we can consider. Probably the most striking case is the Amazonian Amazon rainforest. The uncontrolled Uncontrolled deforestation has provided several issues to the enviroment environment. First of all, the lack of oxygen, is due to the cut of tropical tree trees cut, which are the main productors producers of the gas. Not Moreover, this is not considering the loss of natural diversity that affect affects also our climate.

In conclusion, I strongly think that the lack of lands land must not be the reason to destroy our world. It certanly certainly won't will not be a loss for all the humankind not saving to save the endangered animals. Think to of our children who never will see a chita cheetah or a polare polar bear. A multitude of countries have recognized the problem, and they are moving to solutions that implied imply renewable and clear clean energy.

Task Achievement:

Although you have structured your essay well, upon reading your introduction I noticed you have not provided a good hook and thesis statement and you have not stated your opinion, that is whether you agree or disagree with the statement.
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SAMPLE Criteria Score Reports

Task Fulfillment   5/5

fully addresses the task/question and is fully developed

Task Fulfillment is about how well you respond to the question you are given. TOEFL raters are looking for...

How to Improve

To achieve a high score on the Task Fulfillment criterion, you need to write...

  • ...
  • ...
  • ...
  • ...
  • ...

Overall Organization   4/5

is fairly well-organized, though there may be minor lack of unity in paragraphs includes an introduction and conclusion

Overall organization is about how you organize the ideas in your essay. This includes showing that you understand how to...

How to Improve

We suggest you study the organization of good paragraphs and essays, and spend time planning and thinking about how to...

Relevance & Quality of Supporting Ideas   3/5

may include a few ideas that are of minor relevance to the task/question has some good supporting ideas but may require more to fully support the writer's position

Relevance and quality of support is about your essay content or ideas. Your content should be related directly to...

How to Improve

An often, overlooked, yet important skill in TOEFL writing is how fast you can...

Step 1

Let your mind...

If you struggle..., you can...

Step 2

Whilst...

  • Does my...
  • Can I...
  • ...

Grammatical Usage   2/5

contains several noticeable problems with form and usage that interfere with meaning includes some variety of grammatical forms but still contains unnecessary repetition relies primarily on simple sentence forms (simple and

Grammatical usage is about how you...

How to Improve

The best way to improve your grammar in writing is to have a...

Another way to improve your grammar is to...

  • ...
  • ...
  • ...

Vocabulary Usage   1/5

includes mistakes with basic word form includes limited vocabulary, with repetition and reliance on vocabulary from the question prompt often uses inappropriate or incorrect words or wording

Vocabulary usage is about how you use English words. Raters are looking for writing that...

How to Improve

To improve your vocabulary in the Independent Writing task, we recommend you study...

Connections & Coherence   0/5

does not address the question at all or simply repeats words from the question prompt.

Coherence and connections are about how you...

How to Improve

Complete the following lessons:

Sample Grammar Correction


Probably one of the worst problem problems of this decade is the uncontrolled growth of the population. In a century, we have our population has passed to be one or two billions billion, to be more than seven billios billion of people. This has provided resulted in huge, harmful consequences.

For example To elaboratesome of these are the lack of food, the need for more farming lands, or the desire for new productive production systems. The dearth of land constitute constitutes the main issue. Nowadays, the superstructure has become incredibly harmful for to natural habits and animals. It has destroyed several ecosystems which provided food and home homes for a large range of fauna.

Certainly Next, the need for expantion expansion it is an important reason to enlarge towns and cities. But, despite an initial advantage, it will be a serious problem in a few years. Actually, it already is. We have to think to of renewable way ways to build and work, using and use the space that we already have, instead of expand expanding and invade invading the natural enviroment environment. This would just harm endangered animals and plants that are the base for the natural ecosystem.

Burning Finally, burning wood or deforest deforesting it, it is not the solution. We have several examples we can consider. Probably the most striking case is the Amazonian Amazon rainforest. The uncontrolled Uncontrolled deforestation has provided several issues to the enviroment environment. First of all, the lack of oxygen, is due to the cut of tropical tree trees cut, which are the main productors producers of the gas. Not Moreover, this is not considering the loss of natural diversity that affect affects also our climate.

In conclusion, I strongly think that the lack of lands land must not be the reason to destroy our world. It certanly certainly won't will not be a loss for all the humankind not saving to save the endangered animals. Think to of our children who never will see a chita cheetah or a polare polar bear. A multitude of countries have recognized the problem, and they are moving to solutions that implied imply renewable and clear clean energy.

Master the TOEFL Independent Writing Task
When you start the TOEFL independent writing task, you will be asked a question. Your job is to plan and write an essay in response to this question. It'll help if you understand the different types of writing questions you may encounter. Let's take a look at them now.
Now, let's look at four tips on how to get a high score of the TOEFL Independent Essay.
Tip 1: FOLLOW A STANDARD TOEFL ESSAY STRUCTURE
Introductory Paragraph 1. Provide background information about the essay topic. Here are a few techniques:
  1. Begin with two sides of opinions on the essay topic
  2. Begin with the general public's opinions
  3. Introduce a fact that raises a question about the essay topic
  4. Introduce a debate on the essay topic
  5. Mention the advantage or disadvantage of a subject as a way to contrast
  6. your main opinion on the subject.

2. Write a strong thesis statement

Lesson: How to write a high-scoring TOEFL introductory paragraph part 1
Lesson: How to write a high-scoring TOEFL introductory paragraph part 2
Body Paragraph A
Body Paragraph B
Body Paragraph C (Optional)
1. Include a transition word/phrase at the beginning
2. Write a topic sentence
3. Include supporting sentences

Lesson: How to write a high-scoring TOEFL body paragraph
Conclusion Paragraph 1. Include a restatement of the thesis statement you wrote in your introduction
2. Provide a brief summary of your main ideas

Lesson: How to write a high-scoring TOEFL conclusion paragraph

There's no maximum length for your essay, but a good response is usually at least 300 words.

Tip 2: Use transition words and phrases

You need to use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas in your essay. You should have 2 transition words/phrases every 4-5 sentences.

Type of connection Transition words
These words can help you show the order of ideas. First/Second/Third
Firstly (or "First of all")/Secondly/Thirdly (or "Lastly")
For one thing/For another thing/Finally (or "Lastly")
In the first place/in the second place/Finally (or "Lastly")

Instead of "First", "First of all" and "Firstly", we can use "To begin with", "To start with", or "For starters". We can also use "First and foremost" to state that the first key point is the most important one among all key points.

Likewise, instead of "Finally" and "Lastly", we can use "Last but not least" to state that the final key point is just as important as the others, despite it being mentioned last.

These words can help you add information In addition, furthermore, additionally, also, next, moreover, what's more, on top of that
These words can help you conclude or to summarize: To sum up, in summary, in conclusion, to conclude, all in all, all things considered ,overall, taking everything into consideration, in a nutshell
These words can help you demonstrate contrast Conversely, on the contrary, by contrast, by way of contrast, on one hand/on the other hand
These words can help you compare or demonstrate similarity Similarly, likewise, by the same token, along similar lines
These words can help you state a result. As a result, as a consequence, consequently, therefore
These words can help you state a generalization. Generally, on the whole, in most cases, in general
These words can help you clarify a point. That is, in other words, to put it simply, That is to say, just to reiterate
These words can help you give examples. For example, for instance, take something, for example, to give a clear example
These words can help you state an alternative. Alternatively, as another possibility
Tip 3: Vary your sentence structure

To achieve a higher score or a perfect 5 out of 5 on the TOEFL English language criteria, you must show that you can accurately and flexibly use a variety of structures.

Lesson: Achieving sentence variety part 1
Lesson: Achieving sentence variety part 2
Lesson: Achieving sentence variety part 3
Tip 5: Vary your vocabulary

You should avoid using the same vocabulary throughout your essay. Instead, you can use synonyms or phrases that have the same meaning of words.

Here are some ways you can improve on this area:

  1. Read our sample essays and pay attention to words you are not familiar with.
  2. Utilize our TOEFL Vocabulary system
  3. Utilize our TOEFL synonyms exercises
TOEFL Independent Writing Task Template

For this task, you will read a short prompt and then write a response. As we mentioned ealier, there are 6 different types of prompts. Besides the "Compare and contrast" type, we recommend you use the basic five-paragraph structure, with an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion to write your response. Because every essay prompt is different, it is not possible to have a writing template that can be appled to all essay topics. However, we'll explan how and what you should write each paragraph in general. In addition, We will provide you with 5 different techniques for writing the introductory paragraph along with useful phrases.

Before we delve into how to write each paragraph in general, here is a quick summary of the basic five-paragraph structure:

Paragraph Structure breakdown
Introductory Paragraph 1. Provide background information about the essay topic.
2. Write a strong thesis statement
Body Paragraph A
Body Paragraph B
Body Paragraph C (Optional)
1. Include a transition word/phrase at the beginning
2. Write a topic sentence
3. Include supporting sentences
 
Conclusion Paragraph 1.A transition phrase (To sum up, in summary, in conclusion, to conclude, etc..)
2. Include a restatement of the thesis statement you wrote in your introduction
2. Provide a brief summary of your main ideas
 

The following sections will explain each paragraph in detail and provide you with a sample TOEFL writing essay.

Introduction

A high-scoring TOEFL introductory paragraph can be split into two parts. The first part is General background information about the essay topic. There are many different ways of writing the general background information about the topic. For example, you could write about a brief history of the topic or an explanation why this topic is controversial or important. Alternatively, you can begin with other people's opinions on this topic. There are actually 5 different techniques for writing an introductory paragraph:

  1. Begin with two sides of opinions on the essay topic
  2. Begin with the general public's opinions
  3. Introduce a fact that raises a question about the essay topic
  4. Introduce a debate on the essay topic
  5. Mention the advantage or disadvantage of a subject as a way to contrast your main opinion on the subject.

The video below shows you a TOEFL writing template with different high-scoring introductory paragraphs using these 5 techniques. Pay attention to the underlined phrases where the techniques are used. You can use those underlined phrases in your essay.

 

The second part is what we call a thesis statement, which is the single most important sentence in your essay and you must include it in the introductory paragraph. A thesis statement is your main opinion on the essay topic, and it also includes a preview of your key points in which you will develop in your body paragraphs.

Here is a sample introductory paragraph:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should be required to help with household tasks. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There are differing opinions on whether children should be required to do household tasks. Some people think that parents should do all the household tasks without their children's help, for they believe that children are still too young to do house work and can sometimes make things worse. Other people, however, argue that it is beneficial in many ways for children to take part in the household work. I, myself, agree with the latter. Children should be required to help with household tasks as it teaches children responsibility, discipline and contributes to a sense of unity.

Background Information: There are differing opinions on whether children should be required to do household tasks. Some people think that parents should do all the household tasks without their children's help, for they believe that children are still too young to do house work and can sometimes make things worse. Other people, however, argue that it is beneficial in many ways for children to take part in the household work.

Thesis Statement: Children should be required to help with household tasks as it teaches children responsibility, discipline and contributes to a sense of unity.
Body Paragraph

A good body paragraph in our TOEFL writing template usually includes

  1. A transition statement
  2. Topic sentence
  3. Supporting sentences

In the body paragraph, you will explain the reasons and ideas to support your essay's thesis statement. A TOEFL essay normally has three body paragraphs. Each body paragraph gives the reader a detailed explanation about one main idea. This idea helps to show or convince the reader that your idea is true or correct. In addition, each paragraph must flow from one to the next. This is called coherence and is done using transitions. Transitioning between paragraphs can be done at the start of the new paragraph.

Using more complex transitions will help you get a perfect writing score, but it is not necessary to do well. For example, your body paragraphs can use simple transitions like
Body paragraph 1 - first of all, firstly, or to begin with
Body paragraph 2 - In addition to.., secondly, or furthermore
Body paragraph 3 - finally, thirdly, or lastly

After the transition comes the topic sentence. The topic sentence will summarize the body paragraph's purpose. It's meant to tell the reader what the main idea of the paragraph is about.

Finally, you need to write the supporting sentences. The supporting sentences are used to explain in detail the main idea. The supporting sentences need to fully explain the topic sentence using anything to help the reader understand. You can use things like reasons, examples, and even personal experiences. Since there should be more than one supporting sentence in each body paragraph, remember to use transitions to connect your ideas between supporting sentences.

Here is a sample body paragraph:

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Firstly, people are losing sight of the importance that meals can have to families and friends, which is clearly not an improvement to life. Although meals take time to prepare and busy people may not have time, the preparation and eating of a meal as a family is a human tradition. Through cooking and eating meals people are able to share knowledge, stories, and experiences. Busy people are often seeking more time to spend with those people they care about, and what better way to spend time with people then in creating something together which is an integral part of life. If easy to prepare food allows people to not set aside important time spent with family and friends, then it has not improved people's lives, but eliminated an important part of life.

A transition statement: Firstly

Topic sentence: People are losing sight of the importance that meals can have to families and friends, which is clearly not an improvement to life.

Supporting sentences: Although meals take time to prepare and busy people may not have time, the preparation and eating of a meal as a family is a human tradition. Through cooking and eating meals people are able to share knowledge, stories, and experiences. Busy people are often seeking more time to spend with those people they care about, and what better way to spend time with people then in creating something together which is an integral part of life. If easy to prepare food allows people to not set aside important time spent with family and friends, then it has not improved people's lives, but eliminated an important part of life.
Conclusion

The last paragraph of your TOEFL essay is the conclusion. A conclusion in our TOEFL writing template does not have to be long. It can be just three or more sentences that gives the reader the sense that you are finished explaining your ideas. Without a conclusion, readers will feel like you just decided to stop writing, or that you ran out of time. A good conclusion should include the followings:

  1. A transition phrase (To sum up, in summary, in conclusion, to conclude, etc..)
  2. a restatement of the thesis statement you wrote in your introduction
  3. a brief summary of your main ideas

Here is a sample conclusion paragraph:

Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples.

In conclusion, the custom I would hope for more cultures to adopt is a sense of informality and friendliness. These two ideas in conjunction create a more socially relaxed and talkative populace. In business, it has created less formal attire and ways of addressing each other in order to have more open and creative conversations. Finally, this attitude attempts to include all people and ideas in society. Building a friendlier community is a benefit to all people.

A transition phrase: In conclusion

A restatement of the thesis statement: the custom I would hope for more cultures to adopt is a sense of informality and friendliness.

A brief summary of main ideas: These two ideas in conjunction create a more socially relaxed and talkative populace. In business, it has created less formal attire and ways of addressing each other in order to have more open and creative conversations. Finally, this attitude attempts to include all people and ideas in society. Building a friendlier community is a benefit to all people.
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