TOEFL® Writing Practice 120

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For this task, you will write an essay in response to a question that asks you to state, explain, and support your opinion on an issue. You'll have 30 minutes to write your essay.

Typically, an effective essay will contain a minimum of 350 words.

We recommend you practice organizing your essay for the first 5 minutes with a pen and paper like you will during your TOEFL exam.

Question: Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion
Word Count: 0
 

Question: Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

Word Count: 0

Sample Essay

Famous athletes and entertainers are some of the highest paid people on the Earth. I believe that they deserve the high salaries they receive. I believe this for three main reasons. The first reason is because they have to maintain a healthy lifestyle outside of work. The second reason is because they have hectic schedules and are very busy. The last reason I believe that athletes and entertainers deserve their high salary is because they aren’t able to live a private life, so they should be compensated for that. I will discuss these reasons more in the following essay.



For starters, celebrities and athletes are kept on strict diets and cannot afford to take their health for granted. For example, even an actress has to begin work at eight am; she will likely have to meet with a personal trainer before work so to ensure she is fit enough for her role. There are a lot of expectations on famous people to look a certain way, and they should be compensated for living up to the high standards.



Another important aspect is how celebrities keep a routine of their work schedules. They have a fixed time to make sure they are able to fit everything in. Even after their shooting or concert is over, they typically have to rush to the next thing, whether it be a promotion for a different project or another city for their tour. The average person works a 9-5 job and doesn’t have to do much outside of those hours, a famous person’s salary reflects the hectic schedule they maintain. An average person would likely be exhausted and quit, but celebrities power through it.



Lastly, athletes and entertainers are usually not able to live a private life. They are constantly hounded by paparazzi and fans, making something as simple as going out to eat a massive affair. I believe they deserve the high salaries, because they are often forced to hire extra security to ensure their safety while they are out.



In conclusion, it is clear that celebrities are often living in a mad rush on a day to day basis. While some people say that they are overpaid, I think we need to think twice before saying they do not deserve such high salaries. Not only are they kept on strict diets, they have ridiculous schedules and no privacy, so they should be able to afford whatever they want.
Learn How to Tackle TOEFL Independent Writing - Description or Explanation Essays
Tip 1: Follow a standard TOEFL essay structure
Introductory Paragraph 1. Provide background information about the essay topic. Here are a few techniques:
  1. Begin with two sides of opinions on the essay topic
  2. Begin with the general public's opinions
  3. Introduce a fact that raises a question about the essay topic
  4. Introduce a debate on the essay topic
  5. Mention the advantage or disadvantage of a subject as a way to contrast
  6. your main opinion on the subject.

2. Write a strong thesis statement

Lesson: How to write a high-scoring TOEFL introductory paragraph part 1
Lesson: How to write a high-scoring TOEFL introductory paragraph part 2
Body Paragraph A
Body Paragraph B
Body Paragraph C (Optional)
1. Include a transition word/phrase at the beginning
2. Write a topic sentence
3. Include supporting sentences

Lesson: How to write a high-scoring TOEFL body paragraph
Conclusion Paragraph 1. Include a restatement of the thesis statement you wrote in your introduction
2. Provide a brief summary of your main ideas

Lesson: How to write a high-scoring TOEFL conclusion paragraph

There's no maximum length for your essay, but a good response is usually at least 300 words.

Tip 2: Use transition words and phrases

You need to use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas in your essay. You should have 2 transition words/phrases every 4-5 sentences.

Type of connection Transition words
These words can help you show the order of ideas. First/Second/Third
Firstly (or "First of all")/Secondly/Thirdly (or "Lastly")
For one thing/For another thing/Finally (or "Lastly")
In the first place/in the second place/Finally (or "Lastly")

Instead of "First", "First of all" and "Firstly", we can use "To begin with", "To start with", or "For starters". We can also use "First and foremost" to state that the first key point is the most important one among all key points.

Likewise, instead of "Finally" and "Lastly", we can use "Last but not least" to state that the final key point is just as important as the others, despite it being mentioned last.

These words can help you add information In addition, furthermore, additionally, also, next, moreover, what's more, on top of that
These words can help you conclude or to summarize: To sum up, in summary, in conclusion, to conclude, all in all, all things considered ,overall, taking everything into consideration, in a nutshell
These words can help you demonstrate contrast Conversely, on the contrary, by contrast, by way of contrast, on one hand/on the other hand
These words can help you compare or demonstrate similarity Similarly, likewise, by the same token, along similar lines
These words can help you state a result. As a result, as a consequence, consequently, therefore
These words can help you state a generalization. Generally, on the whole, in most cases, in general
These words can help you clarify a point. That is, in other words, to put it simply, That is to say, just to reiterate
These words can help you give examples. For example, for instance, take something, for example, to give a clear example
These words can help you state an alternative. Alternatively, as another possibility
Tip 3: Vary your sentence structure

To achieve a higher score or a perfect 5 out of 5 on the TOEFL English language criteria, you must show that you can accurately and flexibly use a variety of structures.

Lesson: Achieving sentence variety part 1
Lesson: Achieving sentence variety part 2
Lesson: Achieving sentence variety part 3
Tip 5: Vary your vocabulary

You should avoid using the same vocabulary throughout your essay. Instead, you can use synonyms or phrases that have the same meaning of words.

Here are some ways you can improve on this area:

  1. Read our sample essays and pay attention to words you are not familiar with.
  2. Utilize our TOEFL Vocabulary system
  3. Utilize our TOEFL synonyms exercises
 
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