IELTSWritingĆwiczenie24

• The essay answers both parts of the question.
• The main cause is clear and stays relevant to the topic.
• The effect on society is stated clearly and linked to the cause.
• The writer adds a practical idea that fits the topic.

The essay clearly focuses on why ex-prisoners commit crimes again. In the first body paragraph, the cause is explained through phrases like “social prejudice” and “rejection that criminals naturally suffer.” This directly answers the question about causes.

The effect on society is also given in a direct way. The line “the increase of violence rates” shows a clear social result of repeat crime. This keeps the writing connected to the task, because the question asks about the effect on society, not only the effect on the criminal.

The essay also gives a useful response idea. The sentence about “public policies” and helping companies hire ex-prisoners supports the discussion well. It is not the main task, but it still fits the topic and shows the writer understands the problem.

The personal example at the end also supports the point that reintegration can work. It helps make the cause and effect discussion more real, even though it is not very fully developed.

• The causes are explained in a narrow way, with only one main reason developed.
• The effects on society are present, but not fully explored.
• Some parts move away from the cause-effect focus.
• The ending does not fully summarize the main ideas.

Most of the essay builds around one main cause only: rejection after prison. This is relevant, but the task asks about “causes,” so the response would be stronger with another clear cause, such as poor education, weak support after release, or contact with old criminal groups. A simple added sentence could be: “Another cause is the lack of training and support after release, so many people feel they have no legal way to start again.”

The social effect is mentioned, but it stays brief. “Increase of violence rates” is a valid effect, but the essay could explain more results for society, such as fear in communities, pressure on police, or more public spending. For example: “This can make neighborhoods less safe and force the government to spend more money on prisons and policing.”

The paragraph about government action is sensible, but it shifts a little from the main job of this essay. The task mainly asks for causes and effects. One or two lines are fine, but more space should go to developing the required answers.

The final paragraph is a personal story, but it works more like an extra example than a strong conclusion. A clearer ending could restate both parts of the answer. For example: “In short, rejection after prison can push people back into crime, and this harms society by increasing danger and social costs.”

• Practice planning two causes and two effects before writing.
• Write one short conclusion that repeats your main cause and main effect.
• Do a task-focus exercise with only cause and effect sentences.

Before writing, make a quick table with two columns: causes and effects. For this topic, write two ideas in each column. This will help you answer both parts more fully.

Practice writing 2-sentence conclusions. Sentence one should restate the causes. Sentence two should restate the effects on society. Keep it short and direct.

Take this topic and write only six sentences: one introduction, two cause sentences, two effect sentences, and one conclusion. This helps you stay focused on exactly what the task asks.

• The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms.
• Most sentences are clear and easy to understand.
• The writer shows control of linking grammar such as clauses of reason and result.
• Verb forms are often used correctly.

The writing includes longer sentence patterns, not only short basic ones. For example, “once released from prison, usually go back to crime, as they come through enormous obstacles” uses a time phrase and a reason clause. This shows some range.

The essay also uses cause and result grammar in useful ways. The sentence “The rejection that criminals naturally suffer... causes them to seek opportunities” is grammatically strong for this task type, because it clearly connects cause and effect.

There is also good use of relative and added information. In “individuals who served a prison sentence,” the phrase “who served a prison sentence” is used correctly to define the group. This helps the writing sound more precise.

Verb forms are mostly controlled well. Sentences like “he managed to return to the workforce and has become an excellent professional” are understandable and mostly accurate.

• Some preposition and word-form errors make sentences less natural.
• There are grammar mistakes with articles, plurals, and sentence form.
• A few sentences are overlong and become harder to control.
• There are some errors in the final paragraph with tense use.

Several grammar problems come from fixed phrases and prepositions. For example, “reintegrated to society” is less accurate than “reintegrated into society.” Also, “difficulty to be professionally reallocated” would be better as “difficulty finding work” or “difficulty being employed.” These errors do not block meaning, but they reduce accuracy.

There are also small article and form problems. “Does not have easy solution” should be “does not have an easy solution.” “Government should create” would sound more complete as “The government should create.” These are common grammar points in IELTS.

Some long sentences carry too many ideas. For example, the sentence starting with “The immediate effect of this reality is that...” is understandable, but it becomes heavy and harder to control. Shorter sentences would reduce errors. A clearer version could be: “This situation pushes many ex-prisoners back into crime. As a result, violence in society may increase.”

In the last paragraph, “he had also become a good citizen” does not match the time flow well with the other verbs. A better version would be: “he also became a good citizen” or “he has also become a good citizen.” This would keep the tense pattern clearer.

• Practice common preposition patterns after key words.
• Rewrite long sentences into two shorter ones.
• Do editing drills for articles and verb tenses.

Make a list of useful phrases for this topic, such as “reintegrate into society,” “return to crime,” and “be released from prison.” Write each one three times in a new sentence. This will improve grammar with prepositions.

Take two long sentences from your essay and split each one into two shorter sentences. Check if the meaning stays clear. This will help you control accuracy better under test conditions.

Do a short correction exercise with articles and tenses. For example, change “Government should create public policies” to “The government should create public policies.” Then change “he had also become” to “he also became.”

• The essay uses topic vocabulary related to crime and reintegration.
• There is some variety in word choice.
• The writer attempts less common vocabulary to explain the issue.
• Vocabulary often helps show cause and effect clearly.

The essay uses many words that fit the topic well, such as “recidivism,” “offenders,” “released from prison,” and “crime underworld.” These words are relevant to the question and help the response sound focused.

There is also some variety in how the writer refers to the same group. The essay uses “criminals,” “offenders,” and “individuals who served a prison sentence.” This avoids too much repetition and shows a fair vocabulary range.

The writing also uses words for social problems and feelings, such as “social prejudice,” “rejected,” and “raise awareness.” These choices help explain why former prisoners may return to crime.

In several places, vocabulary supports the cause-effect pattern well. For example, “causes them to seek opportunities” and “encouraging the return to crime” clearly show the relationship between ideas.

• Some word choices are awkward or not natural in English.
• A few words are used correctly in meaning, but the collocation is weak.
• There are spelling mistakes.
• Some phrases are too formal or heavy, which reduces clarity.

At times, the writer chooses a word that is understandable but not natural. For example, “professionally reallocated” is not a normal way to talk about getting work. “Find a job” or “return to the workforce” would fit better here.

There are also weak word pairings. “Come through enormous obstacles” is not the best collocation in this sentence. A more natural choice would be “face enormous obstacles.” Also, “apply for job offers” should be “apply for jobs.” These changes would make the vocabulary more accurate.

Some spelling mistakes reduce the quality of vocabulary use. Examples include “environenments,” “sytem,” and “violance.” These mistakes do not stop understanding, but they lower the overall control of word use.

A few phrases are too heavy and make the meaning less direct. “Penitentiary system” is acceptable, but “prison system” would be clearer and more natural in this essay. Clear and accurate vocabulary often works better than very formal wording.

• Build a topic word bank with natural collocations.
• Do a spelling review with words from your own essay.
• Practice replacing heavy phrases with clearer ones.

Make a vocabulary table for this topic. In one column, write nouns like “crime,” “prison,” and “prejudice.” In the next column, add natural partners like “commit a crime,” “be sent to prison,” and “face prejudice.” This will improve your collocations.

Copy the misspelled words from your essay and write each one correctly five times: “environments,” “system,” and “violence.” Then use each word in a new sentence.

Take formal phrases from your essay and rewrite them in simpler English. For example, change “professionally reallocated” to “find work,” and change “penitentiary system” to “prison system.” This will make your vocabulary clearer and more natural.

• The essay has a clear paragraph structure.
• Main ideas usually follow a logical order.
• Linking words are used to show addition, result, and contrast.
• Most sentences connect clearly to the topic of repeat crime.

The writing is divided into clear parts. The first paragraph introduces the issue. The second paragraph explains causes. The third paragraph moves to effects and possible action. The last paragraph gives an example. This makes the essay easy to follow overall.

The ideas also move in a logical direction. The writer starts with the problem of reintegration, then explains rejection and job difficulty, and then shows the result for society. This order supports a cause-effect essay well.

Linking words help the flow in several places. The essay uses “Furthermore,” “Besides,” “because of,” “consequently,” and “On top of that.” These words show how ideas are connected and guide the reader through the discussion.

Reference words also help cohesion. For example, “this reality” and “such individuals” point back to earlier ideas, so the writer does not repeat the same nouns too often.

• Some paragraphing choices are not fully effective for this task.
• A few linking choices feel forced or slightly unclear.
• The final paragraph is not a strong conclusion.
• Some sentences carry too many ideas, so the flow becomes heavy.

The essay is organized, but the third paragraph mixes effect and solution together. Since the task asks for causes and effects, it would be clearer to keep one body paragraph for causes and one body paragraph only for effects. Then the final paragraph could give a short conclusion.

Some connectors are used, but not always in the best way. For example, “Besides offering them means of survival, there are psychological effects” is a little awkward as a link. The reader must stop and work out the connection. A simpler link would be: “This group gives them money, and it also gives them a feeling of acceptance.”

The last paragraph feels like an extra example, not a full ending. After reading it, the essay stops without a clear final summary of the main cause and the main effect. This weakens the overall shape of the response.

A few sentences are too packed with ideas. For example, the long sentence about “the general prejudice towards those who came from the penitentiary system” includes cause, result, and comment together. Splitting it would improve the flow. For example: “Society often judges former prisoners. This can push them back into crime and increase violence.”

• Practice making a simple four-paragraph plan before writing.
• Rewrite one mixed paragraph into a single clear purpose.
• Practice short conclusions with two summary sentences.

Before writing, note four paragraph jobs: introduction, causes, effects, conclusion. Then put only matching ideas in each part. This will make your essay shape clearer.

Take your third paragraph and separate the effect from the solution. Write one version with only effects. This exercise will help you keep paragraph focus.

Write three short conclusions for this same topic. Each one should have only two sentences. Sentence one should summarize the causes. Sentence two should summarize the effects on society.