IELTS Writing Practice 36

 
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The Writing Task 2 of the IELTS Academic/General test requires you to write an essay in response to a point of view, argument or problem. You will be presented with a topic and will be tested on your ability to respond by giving and justifying an opinion, discussing the topic, summarizing details, outlining problems, identifying possible solutions and supporting what you write with reasons, arguments and relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

  • - Write in a formal style
  • - Write at least 250 words

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.  Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Word Count: 0
 
Question

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.  Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your Essay

Please click MOCK TEST to write an essay for this question.

 
Model Essay
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.  Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Transition words are highlighted in red
Topic vocabulary are highlighted in blue

In the drive to produce valuable members of society, there are conflicting views over whether children should be taught to compete or cooperate.  Although encouraging competitiveness in youth can be effective in life, I believe that learning to cooperate is more important.

From one point of view, competition can greatly encourage children through school and prepare them for real-world challenges in adult life.  In school, teachers motivate children through incentives like rewards, prizes and games, which gives them a sense of accomplishment at being able to surpass their classmates.  This helps build confidence and improve independent concentration while resulting in faster progress during teamwork or individual work.  Later in life, such confidence and persistence will stand children in good stead for competitive situations such as in job interviews or getting ahead in work environments.

On the other hand, while competition in the workplace may be important on occasion, it is my opinion that cooperation between colleagues is a more valuable  social skill that children will need every day on the job.  Employees often have to team up on projects, follow instructions, or be available to support junior staff when needed.  In such situations, collaboration skills are more valued in the workplace than a competitive drive to get ahead.   Furthermore, when at school, studies show that children tend to learn better when teaching each other, thus by carefully emphasizing cooperative skills in school, teachers engender greater learning among the whole class.   Both these points demonstrate that society stands more to gain from learning to work together than apart.

In conclusion, while competitiveness in children has certain advantages, my view is that fostering cooperation in our youngest generation more clearly reflects the daily skills they will need in adulthood.

Revision Exercise
Each sentence in the report below contains one or two errors. Errors may be grammar or punctuation based. A list of the common errors used with answer is given at the end.

On the other hand, competitions in the workplace may be important on occasion, cooperating between colleagues is a social skill that childrens will need every day on the job.  Employees often have to team up project, following instructions, or be available to support junior staff when needed.  Collaboration skills are more valued in workplace than competitive drive to get ahead.   Furthermore, when at school, studies show that children tend learn better when teach each other.  By careful emphasizing cooperative skill in school, teachers engender greater learning among the whole class.   Both these points demonstrate that society stands more gain from learning to working together than apart.

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Step 1: Planning
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.  Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Type:  Discussion (with Opinion)

  1. What is the topic of the question?
  2. How many questions are there?
  3. How many sides do you need to consider?  
  4. Will you answer this question as one-sided or balanced?

The question topic is about whether competition or cooperation should be encouraged in school. There is one question with three parts; one each for competition, cooperation and your opinion.  Now you have a choice:

 

  1. One-sided: Choose a side and mention your opinion in the introduction and conclusion
  2. Balanced:  Choose both sides and give a specific opinion in a third paragraph

Plan:  One-sided essay

  1. Analyse the question.
  2. Brainstorm a number of main points that you wish to talk about
  3. Choose which points you wish to use and think of two supporting details for each
  4. Decide on the order of your main points before writing since some points are more important than others.

Thesis

Learning competiveness is effective, cooperation more useful

Competition

Encourage children through school, prepare for later challenges

  • Teachers incentivize students through rewards, prizes
  • Sense of achievement, builds confidence, improve concentration

Good skills for later life

  • Job interviews, getting ahead

Cooperation

Cooperation important social skill at work

  • Employees work in teams, supportive of each other, follow orders
  • Collaborate skills more important in these situations

Learn better by teaching each other

  • Whole class learning

Both points show class benefits from learning together not apart

This is a one-sided essay, so the opinion will be placed in the introduction and second paragraph which holds the side that the writer supports.  The conclusion only gives a summary of the main points.

Paragraph 1: Thinking Process

  1. What competitiveness means in school
  2. What it results in
  3. How that applies later in life

Paragraph 2: Thinking Process

  1. How cooperation is better in life
  2. How it’s better than competition
  3. Further arguments
Step 2: Write the essay

In the drive to produce valuable members of society, there are conflicting views over whether children should be taught to compete or cooperate.  Although encouraging competitiveness in youth can be effective in life, I believe that learning to cooperate is more important.

From one point of view, competition can greatly encourage children through school and prepare them for real-world challenges in adult life.  In school, teachers motivate children through incentives like rewards, prizes and games, which gives them a sense of accomplishment at being able to surpass their classmates.  This helps build confidence and improve independent concentration while resulting in faster progress during teamwork or individual work.  Later in life, such confidence and persistence will stand children in good stead for competitive situations such as in job interviews or getting ahead in work environments.

On the other hand, while competition in the workplace may be important on occasion, it is my opinion that cooperation between colleagues is a more valuable  social skill that children will need every day on the job.  Employees often have to team up on projects, follow instructions, or be available to support junior staff when needed.  In such situations, collaboration skills are more valued in the workplace than a competitive drive to get ahead.   Furthermore, when at school, studies show that children tend to learn better when teaching each other, thus by carefully emphasizing cooperative skills in school, teachers engender greater learning among the whole class.   Both these points demonstrate that society stands more to gain from learning to work together than apart.

In conclusion, while competitiveness in children has certain advantages, my view is that fostering cooperation in our youngest generation more clearly reflects the daily skills they will need in adulthood.

 
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